My friends, they love my intelligence
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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