is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
