so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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