I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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