She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
