After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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