Do vagina's smell?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
