Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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