It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
