I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
