omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My ass is underappreciated
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
