Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
