my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
