I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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