How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
