1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I party with great urgency now.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
