are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he quoted the bible to break up with me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
