do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
