I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My life is pants optional.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
