just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
