I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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