Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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