you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
