Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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