u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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