I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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