My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
