Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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