His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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