i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
