somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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