I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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