what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
