oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
