But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
