My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
