I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
