It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
