I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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