that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
