Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
