There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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