I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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