it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
