So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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