Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he quoted the bible to break up with me
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
