since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Sorry my hands just texted you
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
tell me about the eggs
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
