Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
