Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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