it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
